A Door Closed

At the beginning of the summer, we became aware of a birthmother who might need to make an adoption plan for her baby. We let her know, through family, that we were open to adoption if she decided that was what she felt was best and left it at that.

About a month later (three weeks ago), we received a call from one of her family members stating that she had decided she wanted to move forward with an adoption plan and that she wanted us to adopt her baby.

After that, the next few days were a blur. I met with the birthmother and her cousin, went to the doctor with her, and began to get an idea of what our adoption plan would look like. At that point she was already 32 weeks, so we knew we had to act fast.

Over the last few weeks, we have prepared to bring a baby into our house in a short amount of time, gotten our things together for a homestudy, talked to lawyers, and everything else that is involved in an adoption.

If you read the last post about us moving, you know that these past weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind.

Long story short, the lawyer called today and said that the birthmother had reconsidered and will be parenting her baby.

So, today I am sad. I am sad that I will not be bringing a baby home next month like I thought I would. I am sad that I will never know the baby I thought may be mine. But I am hopeful.

Because, ultimately, adoption is not about us. It is not about our feelings and desires. It is about providing a home for a child who needs one. It is about being a parent to a child who needs love and a family to call his or her own. Any parent knows that raising a child isn't about you, and adoption is no different.

So, today, I pray for the baby. I pray for the birthmother. I pray that the short time that the birthmother considered adoption changed her and inspired her to try to be the best mother she could be. Ultimately, we were in her life for an extremely small amount of time, but I hope that it made her consider the type of life she wants her baby to have. If we helped her in any way to improve her life and the life of her child, then the pain is worth it. Because, ultimately, it's not about us. Sometimes God places us in situations that can bring pain and heartache. Places we don't understand. But He knows exactly what He is doing. So, although we don't know exactly what our role was in this situation, we pray that God uses it for good.

Please be in prayer for this sweet baby and the birthmother. They have a long road ahead, but I hope that it is one filled with hope and new beginnings.