On Baby Stuff

1. A few days ago someone at church let me know that I am starting to really look pregnant instead of just looking like I ate too much. Awesome. Good to know.

2. I saw these on somebody's blog the other day, and since then I have started noticing other people with them. Have any of every tried this (for your child, not for yourselves)? They seem like a good idea in theory...

3. I just don't know what to think about these new Huggies jean diapers. Part of me wants to laugh really hard. And part of me wants to drive to the next town, buy some in secret, and store them in the back of the closet in case I decide I need them.

image: http://blogs.babble.com

20 weeks

As of last Saturday, this little guy's lease on my stomach is halfway up. I can't believe it's already been 20 weeks...and yet I can! Although we "unofficially" found out that he's a he, I can't wait for our big ultrasound on the 24th. I want some more pictures of him, since the only one we have looks like a speck of dust.

He has really started moving around the past few days...especially around my bladder. I can only imagine what that will feel like in a month or two. I can't wait!


(Terrible picture, but here's a side shot)

Bring on the Blue

We had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and all is looking well. Much to my dismay, they scheduled our ultrasound for May 24th. Ya'll...that's a MONTH away! I will be more than 22 weeks by then, and frankly, I was going crazy with the anticipation. If you know my mom, you can only imagine how Rhonda felt. Especially since we are going to Canton this weekend...ha!

So...whats a girl to do? Call her friends and set up a covert operation of course! I am very lucky to have two friends, who between the two of them, were able to set up an ultrasound yesterday afternoon! Although it's technically still unofficial, it was pretty pretty clear that Baby McDeux is ALL...

BOY!!!!

The Weeks Go On

McDeux is GROWING...or maybe it's just me! Either way, what a difference a few weeks can make!


16 Weeks (I know...I won't wear black again. But it's slimming...ha!)


17 Weeks (I think I see something!)


18 Weeks (And there it is!)

Moving On?

I have a confession to make. I sometimes (more like always) worry that people will take what I say on my blog the wrong way. Or that my true heart will not come through in my words. I have spent way too much time agonizing and changing sentences in an effort to make sure nobody is offended or that I do not cause someone to believe something that is untrue. So...I have been trying to figure out how to write this post, and I just haven't been able to. But, I am going to do it anyway and trust that you know my heart.

I have been wanting to post in the past week about my pregnancy. It's an exciting time, and soon we should be finding out if McDeux (the name is staying) is a boy or a girl. But I have been afraid. I have been afraid that to write about my pregnancy somehow makes it seem like I am moving on...like I am forgetting what happened last week. It seems wrong to be happy when I also feel so sad. But, isn't that how life works? I have to remind myself that although life sometimes brings great sorrow, the Lord also gives us great joy.

So...am I saying I'm moving on from that sweet baby boy? No...and yes. Although it hurts to think about it, the fact is that he did not come home with us. Although in our hearts he feels like our son, he is not. While I know that the pain of that realization will lessen over time, right now I can't imagine thinking about it without the hurt.

What I mean when I say yes is that I am moving on from the guilt. Just as God gave us those 7 months to think we had a son in Pennsylvania, he has given us this new life as well. Does this baby replace the one we lost? OF COURSE NOT! I have to say I have been SO BLESSED by people's responses in the past week. My greatest fear was hearing the words, "Well, at least you are pregnant" or "Now you can focus on this baby." It hasn't really happened, and for that I am thankful. I am thankful that people understand the fact that we are grieving the loss of a son and that we are adjusting to the new picture of what our family will look like in the coming months.

Just as I can't imagine pushing the past week aside and pretending it didn't happen, I know that I also want to feel excited and plan for McDeux to make his or her entrance into the world. So...that is what I am going to do.

So, there it is. I hope what I was trying to say came across the right way. And please keep Miss C, her family, and her new son in your prayers. I pray daily that he will grow up happy, healthy, and to have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

The Nursery...Part 112

The nursery won't be done until later this summer, but here's what's going on lately.

The goal right now is to keep all the "boy" stuff on one side of the room, since we don't know what Baby McDeux has going on in there.




This is above the changing table. I found these vinyl frames with my mom last weekend, and I thought they were fun. Eventually, they will have stuff in them, but right now I think they are kind of fun just like that.



And these are just cute.

15 Weeks

Just a few pics of Baby McDeux at 15 weeks:






Mike had to get in on the action.

The Details...If You Want Them

In all the excitement of Will's arrival, I have failed to give anybody a lot of details about Baby McDeux. So, I thought I'd just write real quick to let you know.

Yesterday we had an appointment, and although we didn't get to have a sonogram, they did pick up the heartbeat on the doppler. I promptly began giggling silently, which made the doppler sound like little explosions were going off inside my stomach. Oh well.

So...I'm still a few weeks away from being out of my first trimester, but the doctor said that hearing the heartbeat on the doppler was a great sign. It definitely made us feel better!

We found out about McDeux back at the end of January. I hate writing about this kind of stuff, but ever since we started trying, I got used to keeping a calendar and tracking dates that "things were supposed to happen." When those things didn't start happening, I kind of ignored it at first. I mean, seriously. Less than a 1 percent chance, people. I mentioned it to Mike, who's response was, yeah right. Your body is just messed up.

I agreed that he was probably right, and went on preparing for the three girls that were going to be staying at our house for the next two weeks. But...something just didn't feel "normal." I was waking up at night with horrible stomach cramps. One night of that? Normal. Five? Not so much.

Friday night the girls got here, and Saturday while everyone was at church I decided just to pick up a test at WalMart. I felt kind of silly doing it, so I just got the cheapest test possible, telling myself that I wasn't really wasting money. You have to understand that I have taken an obscene number of these test in the past, and that each and every time...nothing.

So...I raced home, took the test, and OH MY GOODNESS! It turned pink! Like, immediately. After holding it up in the light for awhile just to make sure I wasn't making it up, I immediately began shaking and thinking...must tell Mike....must tell Mike. I raced up to the church, where I couldn't find him. I think I ran through the entire church four times trying not to make eye contact with people. It turned out Mike was in a meeting, so I did what any girl would do. I went in the bathroom, reached in my purse, and took another test. What else was there to do?

Finally, I found Mike, made some weird pointing gestures to his office, got him in there, and pulled out the test. At this point, I think he got a little pale and sunk into a chair. You have to understand that while we were SUPER excited, we were also SUPER nervous. At that point, we had already known Will was going to be our son for 4 months, so one of the first thoughts through our minds was, what if they tell us we can't have him? He's our son!

For the next week, we were basically just on pins and needles. One of the first things we did after we went to the doctor was call the agency and then call Miss C. They were all so excited, and we were SO relieved! That was the day we could finally relax and start planning life as a family of four.

That was also the day I realized I was going to need to start clipping coupons.

Big Brother

Last night, my mom sent me a text saying that pregnancy was getting in the way of my blogging. And she's totally right. If I am at home, I am asleep! It's something I'm working on, though. I keep telling myself it's okay, because I only have a month or two left to sleep before a very small person starts demanding my attention at all hours.

Speaking of Will, check out his new onesie from his grandma...I love it!

Oh Babies!

Introducing...

Baby McDeux

Yup...turns out I'm...


Looks like Will is going to be a big brother MUCH sooner than we expected!

Baby #2 (thus the Deux) will arrive in September. I know the picture above shows a very tiny baby, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to wait until the 10 week picture to share the news! As tiny as that little baby is, we were able to see and hear the heartbeat. Amazing...praise the Lord! More to come later...